The World’s First Alarm Clock For Your Genitals

Photo by Gyuri Szabo at finfoto.com.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Have you ever showed up late to a meeting and thought, “If only I had had an alarm clock wedged against my vagina, I would’ve been on time?” I know I have. That’s why I’m certain that this Little Rooster alarm clock is destined to be a best seller.

To use this vibrating alarm clock, you place it on “your pubic mound,” while “the vibrating leg rests against your clitoris and labia.” I’m not sure how you are supposed to ignore this as you’re falling asleep, but Little Rooster’s website assures you that “most women become completely unaware of the Little Rooster within a minute of slipping it into their knickers.”

When it’s time to get up, the alarm clock starts vibrating slowly at first, and then its two motors begin to vibrate more intensely. If you become so aroused that you don’t feel like getting up, you just hit “snorgasm” mode and it pleasures you for 10 minutes. Since most people fall asleep after their orgasms, the idea that an orgasm would awaken you from a deep slumber is a little counterintuitive to me. And it seems like The Little Rooster doesn’t have a back-up alarm for those who naturally fall into a post-masturbatory slumber. Maybe there needs to be a separate Little Rooster alarm for your anus that zaps you if you don’t get up within five minutes of your snorgasm.

Design flaws aside, I have to credit the company for their hyperbolic ad copy. The only thing better than inventing and marketing a genital alarm clock is coming up with claims like this: “The Little Rooster is the most considerate alarm clock in the world.  If only altruism were always this much joy.”

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6 thoughts on “The World’s First Alarm Clock For Your Genitals

  1. Gabi says:

    Sad they don’t send them to Germany.

  2. dildographer says:

    I wish they sent them to America. I never manage to get anywhere on time. Maybe the Little Rooster would help.

  3. ouchies says:

    They do send them to America (for a limited time only, says the website). I wish the design was just a little bit sleeker. Kind of just looks like a digital clock made in the early 90s. Would definitely like to try it out though, if only for the lolz.

  4. dildographer says:

    I’m glad that they ship to the U.S. because I’ve already gotten requests for these as Hanukkah presents. I agree that the design is pretty weak, but the idea of a vagina alarm clock is original. I hope they develop a similar alarm clock for men.

    • BMG says:

      Design aside, I’m going to still try. With all the things that have been up there, I can’t imagine this will be a problem 🙂

  5. dildographer says:

    Good point. Your comment reminds me of this fantastic blog: http://stuffinmyvagina.tumblr.com/

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