If you’ve ever been playing charades and you wished that instead of acting out a scene from the Jodie Foster wild-child forest drama Nell you were “giving a player a hand job whilst someone licks their balls,” then you should run out to your nearest sex emporium and purchase the XXX Truth or Dare board game. Unlike tame sex trivia games, this game requires you to either engage in a sexual act or answer an uncomfortably personal question like, “When did you realize that you are a lesbian/bisexual?” It’s like middle school Truth or Dare on ecstasy.
You may ask: What type of person would want to play such a game? Well, according to their website, their target audience is open-minded people who “are willing to try anything in front of others,” as well as those who have a desire to masturbate “in front of new people.” Who hasn’t had to listen to a co-worker kvetch about constantly having to masturbate in front of the same old group of friends? Now you can finally put an end to the complaining and solve their intractable problem.
If you get bored with the game, for $35.95 you can order their companion XXX toy kit that includes a strawberry and champagne-flavored edible thong, three cock rings, a g-spot vibrator and a mini cat-o-nine tails, among other things.
How you win the game isn’t entirely clear, but if you win you become a “Sex Master” who dictates what sexual activities the rest of the group engages in.
I don’t know how I feel about XXX Truth or Dare. In one sense I think that it could add a nice structure to an orgy (full disclosure: I’ve never been to an orgy, but I’m assuming that they’re unstructured). In another sense, if you’re having an orgy with people who are so uncreative that they need to consult a board game to get ideas, then maybe you need to reevaluate your life choices.