Few dildos could be called charming. Silicone and plastic versions just seem cheap and disposable. Futuristic looking steel dildos are intimidating. But wooden dildos have character. They’re the type of dildo that Henry David Thoreau would have taken with him to Walden Pond, a dildo that you’d find while foraging for wild berries in the forest, where you’d stumble upon Keebler Elves whittling phalluses with tiny knives while ensconced in their Hollow Tree®.
Given the charisma inherent in wooden sex toys, it makes sense that the most charming ones on the market are produced by a family. The fact that they’re practicing Catholics might be off-putting to some, but it’s inspiring to me. Dildo entrepreneurs Elmar Thüry and his wife and children are true iconoclasts. Although it takes moxie to be a dildographer, it takes much more courage to carry on religious traditions while also promoting sexual devices.
The Thüry family designs, hand-carves, and markets 72 varieties of sustainable wooden dildos, butt plugs, g-spot stimulators, and vibrators. Thüry says that the most common question he gets is about splinters, which he says aren’t a problem because the dildos are made from spruce wood, and treated to prevent splinters. The road to Thüry’s dildo business was paved with ornamental wooden mushrooms, which are in far less demand than sex toys. After his son pointed out the mushrooms’ likeness to the male genitals, he began manufacturing dildos. But some of the spirit of the wild mushroom lingers in their design, providing them with an old-world ethos. Continue reading