Tag Archives: Ryan Gosling

I Need Your Help Again: Which Celebrities Should Be Promoting Sex Toys?

The world will most likely never see a Larry David dildo.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A few days ago  Lindsay Lohan was offered a $1 million dollar endorsement deal by the Fleshlight sex-toy company. All she has to do is allow them to make a mold out of her vagina, which they will then fill with silicone, encase in an industrial plastic tube, and peddle to hardcore Herbie Fully Loaded fans. I can’t imagine that there would be a huge market for this, considering that her genitals wouldn’t win any beauty contests, but it did lead me to wonder which celebrities would be better suited to promoting sex toys.

Although Lindsay hasn’t publicly said whether she’ll help market a silicone likeness of her genitals, two other D-list celebrities have sex toy lines in the works: Phil Varone, star of Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew and a former drummer of the band Skid Row and The Real Housewives of Atlanta star Kandi Burruss.  The thought of owning a silicone replica of Varone’s penis or a clitoral stimulator inspired by Burruss doesn’t thrill me, but there are a number of celebrities whose genitals I would race out of the house to purchase. Of course I would love to see a Larry David dildo, but unfortunately that would have limited appeal. I know this because I belong to the Facebook group “Larry David– the Sexiest Man Alive,” and it only has five members.

No A-list celebrities have sex-toy lines, but they have no problem promoting products like lingerie (watch Bob Dylan’s bizarre Victoria’s Secret ad here) and acne medication (Jessica Simpson, Katy Perry, and Justin Bieber have all endorsed Proactiv). I think that if they’re willing to publicly declare their acne problems, they should also feel comfortable discussing their love of waterproof vibrators. I want to see Salma Hayek endorsing a line of nipple clamps, Leonardo DiCaprio hawking prostate stimulators, and Ryan Gosling peddling his lifelike dildos in the Special Features section on The Ides of March DVD. The only way to banish the sex-toy stigma in America is to have people like Justin Timberlake endorsing them. Which A-listers would you like to see promoting sex toys?

—Hallie Lieberman

Tagged , , , , , , , ,

I Need Your Pop Culture Expertise

Ryan Gosling Romancing a Sex Doll in  “Lars and the Real Girl”

For my dissertation, I’m attempting to chronicle the history of sex toys in popular culture. I’m trying to document how depictions of sex toys changed over time in films, TV shows, novels, songs, and any other popular media.

Right now I only have a short list.

The first movie that came to mind is the classic Ryan Gosling film shown above that costars a Real Doll.  Then, of course,  I thought of the famous episode of Sex and the City where Charlotte gets addicted to her Rabbit vibrator. Following in quick succession were the episode of Weeds where Andy gets reamed by a Torah scholar wielding a strap-on and Eminem’s “Crazy in Love”: “Like a devil in disguise/You’re always full of surprises/Always pullin’ devices out your purse, little vibrators/And dildos, you fucked yourself so much/You barely feel those anymore.”

I’ve included the rest of my meager findings below. As you can see, I’m failing miserably at this task. Please, I implore you, if you don’t perform any other acts of charity this year, you must help me update these lists. It’s for the good of humanity.

Television

 1. The Osbournes’ episode where Jack uses a Clone-A-Willy kit

2. The Bad Girls’ Club (I think some sex toy company sponsored them)

3. Most episodes of Talk Sex with Sue Johanson

4. Oprah (I know there were a few episodes that focused on sex toys, but I’m not sure which ones)

5. The Mad Men episode with the vibrating device

6. The sex-toy home shopping channel

Note: I know that I must be missing some CSI stuff, since I don’t watch those shows. I’m hopeful, but doubtful, that dildos have been in The Amazing Race and other mainstream reality TV competition shows.

Film

1. Lars and the Real Girl (2007)

2. Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex (But Were Afraid to Ask) (1972)

3. Selected films from the John Waters’ oeuvre

Note: I’m missing about five thousand movies here.

Tagged , , , , ,