Tag Archives: Sex Toy Review

I Wore a Vibrator During Sex So You Don’t Have To: A Review of The Newest Couples’ Sex Toy

Tiani 2

Lelo’s Tiani 2 Couples’ Vibrator.

If Charles and Ray Eames had designed vibrators, they would have looked like the Lelo Tiani 2, with its rounded corners and candy colors. I really wanted to love Lelo’s new Tiani 2 couples’ vibrator. Not only is it a valiant attempt to solve the intractable problem of the male anatomy– the inability of the penis to stimulate the clitoris during sexual intercourse–but also the device and its packaging is gorgeous. Ensconced in a sleek back rectangular box lined with velvet, the Tiani oozes luxury. It even includes a gold pin with Lelo’s logo. Maybe you’re meant to clip this pin to your lapel so that other  Tiani owners can identify each other, a hanky code for the sex-toy set.

So I approached the task of reviewing the revamped Tiani with excitement. Designed to be worn during intercourse, the Tiani 2 joins the cock ring in the pantheon of couples’ vibrators. Unlike the cock ring, the Tiani 2 attaches to the vagina, a much more difficult task, as the cock ring easily wraps around the penis like a genital wristwatch. A cavernous realm inhospitable to interlopers, the vagina is less capable of retaining sex toys within its vast, sloppy depths.

The thicker half of the Tiani 2 contains the vibrating motor; this is the part intended to be pressed up against the clitoris, while the insertable half of the vibrator (its “wearable attachment”) anchors the device in the interstices of the vagina. The Tiani 2 comes with two interchangeable attachments, one of which Lelo designed to stimulate the G-spot. Continue reading

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Sex Toy Review: The Sasha Vibrator

Sasha: a Rabbit for the discriminating masturbator. Image from A Woman's Touch.

Introducing Sasha: a beautiful Rabbit-style vibrator with 10 speeds, all of them tasteful.

Full disclosure: I believe that the iconic Sex and the City-type Rabbit vibrator is overrated.  Sure, I like a lot of movement in my pubic area. If I could shrink the cast of Cirque de Soleil, insert them into my vagina and have them engage in nightly performances of  “Michael Jackson: The Immortal World Tour” I would. But there’s something about the original Rabbit that is a bit overwhelming. It’s as if Ron Popeil had designed it, as if it were a Showtime Rotisserie for the vagina (“Set it and Forget It”).  Sometimes a vibrator requires too much of its users. The original Rabbit has a vibrating phallus with rotating beads on it and a protruding clitoral stimulator with rabbit ears, which is where it gets its name. It usually has 9 speeds, and controls for both the clitoral and vaginal stimulators. It’s the two sets of controls and the rotating, beaded shaft that set me over the edge. The choice of speeds always leaves me thinking that I chose the wrong setting, that someone somewhere, is using the Rabbit with more skill than I ever could, and consequentially, having better orgasms. And the rotating beads manage to be both clumsy and tawdry.

The Sasha fixes all these problems. It is sleek, lacks vibrating beads, and has only one set of controls. It is made of silicone, instead of phthalate-filled “jelly” plastic (polyvinyl chloride) like the original Rabbit is. And at the tip of the penis, there is a textured pad that provides a little extra stimulation. The Sasha is a Rabbit for the discriminating masturbator, the type of woman who likes to pour herself a glass of Franzia and crank up the Michael Bolton before stimulating herself to orgasm.

The verdict: Eight out of ten clitorises. 

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Review: Foreplay Ice Frost Vibrator

Foreplay Ice Frost Vibrator

When the heat index was over 100 degrees in Madison, Wisconsin, I decided that nothing would be more appealing than a vibrator with a built-in cooling mechanism. I really wanted to like this adorable genital Popsicle for a number of reasons:

1. I pin my hopes on new vibrators, while dreaming of the day when men evolve to develop clitoral stimulators on their pubic bones.

2. I thought it was adorable.

3. None of my friends had it, so I thought that I could be an early adopter and start a trend that would spread through the University, showering happiness on all who laid hands on the magical vibrating ice device.

Alas, I was disappointed. Just as it burns to place ice on a sprain,  placing a piece of vibrating ice burns the clitoris.  There’s a reason nobody masturbates with Del Monte Fruit Chillers. I’m not going to discount the fact that I didn’t like the Ice Frost because  I have an especially sensitive clitoris, but I’m also not completely convinced that I do, considering I wore my clitoris out on this when I was 19 years old. Maybe if I’d used the vibrator during Bikram Yoga, I would have been transported to absolute bliss. Although it doesn’t bring me sexual pleasure, the vibrator is not entirely worthless. It is a beautiful object. The ice looks like a miniature studded globe and it secures to its silicone base perfectly. The detachable vibrating bullet doesn’t provide enough vibration because the silicone base is so thick, so its more of a muffled pulsation, but maybe a rapidly vibrating ice cube would be even more unpleasant.

Overall Score: Three clitorises. The only reason to purchase this vibrator is so you can tell your friends that you masturbated with an ice vibrator. Actually, that’s a pretty good reason. 

Scale:

1-3 clitorises: Ineffective for sexual stimulation, but it may have some aesthetic value.

4-5 clitorises: It may bring you orgasms, but its design is ugly, and you might have to hold it at a weird angle to get pleasure.

6-7 clitorises: Reliably produces orgasms, moderately attractive and effective design, definitely bedside-table worthy.

8-9 clitorises: Innovative yet practical design, easy to grasp/insert, clean lines.

10 clitorises: It will bring you sexual bliss like no other device, and it is so beautiful that you could unabashedly display it in your foyer.

What My Clitoris Felt Like After Using the Ice Frost Vibrator

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