Tag Archives: swingers

Why Obama Relies On the Myth of Monogamy to Defend Gay Marriage

Obama Gay ScandalAlthough I’m thrilled that Obama came out in favor of gay marriage, I’m not happy that he trotted out his monogamous gay staff members as a justification for his changed opinion. “Members of my own staff…are in incredibly committed monogamous relationships, same-sex relationships” and “are raising kids together,” Obama said as if this were a new phenomenon that hadn’t been going on for decades in the United States. Even though my opinion is biased since I’m straight-phobic (according to this test), I felt like what he really wanted to say was: “Now that gay people have finally stopped spending all their time fellating customers at truck stops in exchange for peanut-butter Wicked Whoopie pies, they should be granted equal rights.” Praising same-sex couples for following the heterosexual model of lifetime monogamy allows him to seem progressive by advocating for sexual minorities, while also enabling him to reinforce the deeply held belief that all worthwhile sexual relationships should culminate in monogamous marriage.

Since I’ve never been particularly impressed by the institution of heterosexual marriage, I’ve found it unfortunate that gay marriage is being used as a proxy for gay rights. A monogamous lifestyle should not be a requirement for civil rights. If that were the rule, then nobody would have any, since in practice, in nearly half of “monogamous” relationships, one or both partners has cheated, according to Dr. Terri Conley. And you can’t throw a rock without hitting a “straight” monogamous married man who frequents transsexual hookers.

Lost in this whole gay marriage debate is the idea of whether marriage as an institution is valuable and whether monogamy makes us happy. The gay marriage debate glorifies marriage, presenting the betrothed as blissful creatures who live moral lives of tranquility. But this is an inaccurate picture. Not only is cheating rampant among the married, but also 15% of married people are stuck in sexless marriages. Sure some people are happily married, and that’s great for them. But what is rarely discussed is that most married people have shitty sex lives. Defenders of marriage routinely trot out statistics that married people have more sex than single people. What they don’t mention is that most of this sex is boring and mechanical. A disappointing sex life seems to be an accepted trade off for the security of marriage, but does it have to be? Continue reading

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Swingers Need Board Games Too

I know that this picture sucks, but it was the best one that I could find. Image from http://www.xxxtruthordare.net

If you’ve ever been playing charades and you wished that instead of acting out a scene from the Jodie Foster wild-child forest drama Nell you were “giving a player a hand job whilst someone licks their balls,” then you should run out to your nearest sex emporium and purchase the XXX Truth or Dare board game. Unlike tame sex trivia games, this game requires you to either engage in a sexual act or answer an uncomfortably personal question like, “When did you realize that you are a lesbian/bisexual?” It’s like middle school Truth or Dare on ecstasy.

 

You may ask: What type of person would want to play such a game? Well, according to their website, their target audience is open-minded people who “are willing to try anything in front of others,” as well as those who have a desire to masturbate “in front of new people.” Who hasn’t had to listen to a co-worker kvetch about constantly having to masturbate in front of the same old group of friends? Now you can finally put an end to the complaining and solve their intractable problem.

If you get bored with the game, for $35.95 you can order their companion XXX toy kit that includes a strawberry and champagne-flavored edible thong, three cock rings, a g-spot vibrator and a mini cat-o-nine tails, among other things.

How you win the game isn’t entirely clear, but if you win you become a “Sex Master” who dictates what sexual activities the rest of the group engages in.

I don’t know how I feel about XXX Truth or Dare. In one sense I think that it could add a nice structure to an orgy (full disclosure: I’ve never been to an orgy, but I’m assuming that they’re unstructured). In another sense, if you’re having an orgy with people who are so uncreative that they need to consult a board game to get ideas, then maybe you need to reevaluate your life choices.

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